Whew...

Holy cow, kids... Christmas is over!

Now, I love Christmas. It is, along with my birthday, one of my favorite holidays. This year, however, I felt like I was a little behind all season long... and I hate that feeling. I wasn't through with my shopping until late; my Christmas cards went out late.

Let's not even talk about Sam's birth announcements that are sitting, addressed, on the table.

We did have a lovely Christmas, though, in spite of my belatedness.

The pictures are of the kids in their superhero capes & masks (http://www.etsy.com/ -- seller name: superflykidz). Ethan and Laney love theirs... Sam, maybe not so much now... but he'll grow into it. If Santa had brought them nothing else this year, I am so glad he brought these because I laugh every time I see their little round bodies running through the house, capes flying, crashing into things because neither of the mobile ones know how to put the masks on without somehow impeding their eyesight. (Check out the pictures closely, and you'll see what I mean.)

Anyway, we coasted through a gaggle of family get-togethers and moved on to having my in-laws come for the weekend.

We also had an unexpected visitor.

The Virus.

I don't know what kind of creation this thing is, but it has hit all three of my kids -- Sam and Laney twice! --, Keith, and his mom. And let me tell you -- it's not pretty.

On Monday, I got a bit of advice from my girlfriend Azure to boil some Pine Sol on the stove to disinfect the air.

Now, if you read my little "About Me" section, you will notice that one of the first things that I am not is a good housekeeper. And I will readily admit that math and science are not my strengths either... but based on my limited knowledge of these areas, this suggestion immediately brought a couple of thoughts to the forefront of my brain:

1 -- Pine Sol cleans everything. This has to be a good idea.

2 -- Cleaning chemicals + extreme heat = blown-up house.

Now, I trust Azure, but I had to ask her, to be safe. She assured me that there was nothing to worry about... she had done the same at her house, and they were all still in one piece.

So I broke out my trusty bottle of Pine Sol, only to realize that I was almost out. I've been cleaning bathrooms and wiping down surfaces like a mad woman since we've been out of school, so I guess I used it all.

Hmph. Well, that's a first.

Anyway, I asked K to bring home a bottle on his lunch break, and being the well-mannered husband that he is, he did so... but not without asking me a bunch of questions first. Our texts went something like this:

Me: Can u pick up a bottle of Pine Sol on your lunch & bring it home?

K: Sure. Why? (Translation: Is this really something I have to do at lunch? Can't it wait until I'm coming home for the day?)

Me: I need it to disinfect the house. Azure says to boil it on the stove.

K: That doesnt sound like a good idea. (Translation: H-no! You've got to be kidding.)

Me: I know. I asked her tho & she said its fine. No worries.

K: I dont know. Kind of like our house as it is. (Translation: Whatever, crazy woman. I'm not going to do it.)

Me: Bring me the Pine Sol. (Translation: I'm about to go medieval on your tail. Would you rather me blow up the house or suffer my wrath?)

K: Ok. But I still dont think this is a good idea. (Translation: Ok. I'll do it... but you're going to blow up the house, and I'm going to say "I told you so" every day for the rest of our lives.)

So, a couple of hours and one massive low-country boil pot later, I get the stuff on the stove. It seems to be going well, until K looks in the pot and said, "What's this stuff growing on top?"

Hold up there, Tonto. What stuff?!?!
Sure enough, there's this foamy mass growing on top of the Pine Sol... kind of like mutated pond scum.

About this time, we also notice that the pleasant scent wafting through the air has gone from "essence de pine" to "pine forest in the house."

Oh my gosh - it was ridiculous. I have visions of the kids losing consciousness and me having to explain to the doctor that they are unconscious due to overexposure to Pine Sol.

I don't imagine that would go over well, so we start opening doors.

I text Azure, and she reminds me to turn it down to simmer after it reaches a boil.

Oh. I must've missed that part. Reason #776 that I should never have to use cleaning products.

So, I turn it down, and the smell abates a little... with the help of a pleasant breeze and 4 open doors.

By the end of the afternoon, I am so pleased with myself because I have disinfected the house AND the air that I voluntarily let K talk me in to beginning this crazy-A workout program that he did last year (with great results) in hopes of getting this body back into some sort of shape post-baby.

After the workout, we go to bed because I am pooped (cleaning and working out are not normally in my schedule these days).

I wake up yesterday morning, and guess what!

I'm sick.

I don't have The Virus, but I feel like crap, nonetheless.

I must've let something in while I was letting the Pine Sol out.

*Sigh.*
Such is the story of my life...